Monday 20 April 2020

Auld Sligh and the Family Stone Troll




 Greetings vaqueros! Today I will be showing you some trolls I have painted up for all those reasons one might need a troll.



Have you ever wondered how trolls reproduce? Go on, I bet it keeps you up at night. Well ol' Crooksy has the scoop and he's going to share it with you right here in this Wenis Rodeo. And maybe stop talking in the third person. Don't hold your breath though, Papa Crooks loves talking about and to himself.

"Auld Sligh knows... but me ain't tellin' ya" *licks lips*


Trolls, well, stone trolls, when they get together, see... do you know what a geode is?  Geodes are hollow, vaguely circular rocks, in which masses of mineral matter (which may include crystals) are secluded. The crystals are formed by the filling of vesicles in volcanic and sub-volcanic rocks by minerals deposited from hydrothermal fluids; or by the dissolution of syn-genetic concretions and partial filling by the same, or other, minerals precipitated from water, groundwater or hydrothermal fluids.


Mmm... vesicles... mmm... fluids
Geodes can form in any cavity, but the term is usually reserved for more or less rounded formations in igneous and sedimentary rocks. Some geodes are so large they form huge cave systems - the so called 'Crystal Caves' are rare and greatly treasured by geologists and must be protected from the elements and would-be looters.





"Loot dis!"

Songs from the Crystal Cave is the debut album from actor, musician, and martial artist Steven Seagal, released in 2005. Seagal is credited with "Lead Vocals, Rhythm and Lead Guitar" and appears on the cover and throughout the liner notes emotively playing and posing with a guitar. The style can be described as "outsider country-meets-world music-meets-Aikido." Many of the songs reflect Seagal's esoteric Buddhist and spiritualist stance while also incorporating standard song tropes about relationships and other things.
 Contemporary reviews condemned Seagal's "laughably bad" guitar playing. Others published a mixed but supportive review, highlighting the album's mixture of styles and emotional tones from song to song as being slipshod and haphazard, however, also crediting the album for being "endearing in its own way" and presenting the listener with a "good-vibes experience".

"Gunda giv ya gud vib... vu... gonna splat ya!"

In conclusion, did you know that there have been at least three television shows with the name 'Good Vibrations', two of which prominently featured ghosts? It has been theorised that inaudible frequencies, so called 'infrasounds' are responsible for so-called paranormal experiences such as auditory and visual hallucinations and dizziness.

Well, hopefully that clears up a thing or two about stone troll biology, I bet you just can't wait to show off all this newfound knowledge with your friends, relatives and significant others.

And what's next? Well, as you know, a close relative of the troll is of course the... Dark Elf corsair which, shares a... *sigh,* I really wasted all your time today didn't I?

"At least the cretin stopped talking in third person..."


Adios for now!

14 comments:

  1. Amazing work Captain - a fascinating lesson on Stone Trolls but until it's peer reviewed I'm afraid the less charitable amongst us might call it a load of vesicles ;) Lovely paint work on the Trolls - great to see some different colour schemes on them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I stressed about the colour schemes for so long that I really had to dust off those regular trolls once the big boy arrived - shame and excitement galvanised me into biting the bullet! I'm glad you like the result :D

      Delete
  2. Ha ha!

    Huge troll is huge, larger than I was expecting. Perfect as a Dankhold Troggoth, if you are inclined.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am inclined cheetor, VERY inclined. I'm so inclined you'd need your handbrake on to stop on me. Mmm hmm.

      Delete
  3. You gave me the good lols there my captain. Sweet trolls too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was indeed a sweet troll. Well I enjoyed it.

      Delete
  4. Excellent work. I really like all the trolls, and I'm looking forward to seeing those elves painted too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah yes, the elves. My track record for completing the miniatures in my 'what's next?' section is solid, so any day now?

      Delete
  5. So Trolls are conceived by Steven Seagal holding his vesicles whilst wailing one of his tunes....makes sense.

    Great work on the Trolls there Jimbo! I especially like the biggest one. The flesh to scale colour transition looks great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheers mate, I decided that maybe the bigger and older they get the darker their scales might be - it kinda works, sort of!

      Delete
  6. I've learned so much I think I've earned a PHD! My favorite is the crossfit troll about to slam his stone down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Next I need to paint the trolls flipping tractor tyres and the one that won't shut up about Crossfit to all it's mates.

      Delete
  7. Haha! You made my day :D
    No, seriously, wonderfull paintjob, I find it amazing the leve of detail and how you managed to use such different colours, yet keeping these coherent!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got stuck with my scheme idea after painting the first one grey, and in the end made a snap decision to do one grey, one white and one black. Would you believe the giant troll started off bright orange? It looked awful! :D

      Delete