Greetings vaqueros! Today I have a very special post for you, as in between bouts of
naked HeroQuest and pondering the deeper meanings and consequences of
HeroCults, I've been assembling and painting my very first professionally cast and produced model kit, the Boom Wagon, now on sale from
Ramshackle Games.
The '
Boom Wagon' is a strange vehicle, almost certainly the offspring of a saucy three-way with a tank destroyer, a dragster and the kind of chopped down hot rod that would make ZZ Top blush into their extravagant beards.
 |
| "Fritz! Iz zere any way we can make zis tank more gun?" |
 |
| "Frank! Is there any way we can make this car more rocket?" |
 |
"Steve! Is there-"
"Shhh... this one is perfect." |
 |
| Every car has a 'face'. This one is going 'yuuuh?!' |
When I approached Ramshackle Games about mastering this for potential casting, they were more than happy to oblige. Ramshackle offer casting services to amateurs like me who produces a nice model kit or miniature, in exchange for the rights to the master. Instead of monetary payment, you get to have copies of your original... lots of copies!
 |
| Those aren't kill markings, that's just the number of times the barrel has exploded |
The concept of building a vehicle around a giant gun is not a new one, nor is it exclusive to fantasy worlds or the post apocalypse. The afore-mentioned tank hunters, and even military jets like the A-10 Warthog are all designed around the premise of bringing your biggest gun to the gunfight, preferably with something fast and angry wrapped around it spitting out fire and deadly fumes, for added effect.
 |
| "GRAAA ANGER MANAGEMENT IS A BREEZE WHEN YOU HAVE A SEVEN BARREL AVENGER CANNON!" |
Of course, given that we live on the internet, there will always be naysayers who think that it isn't enough to just have a rad car that also happens to be a cannon - they have to try and figure out all the boring minutiae, like 'where do they fit the ammo for that cannon in that tiny cab?'
 |
| Seriously man you're ruining xmas for everyone... |
Well, Question Guy, I've gone to great lengths to provide you with a detailed look at the inside of the Boom Wagon so you can see exactly how it all works:
 |
| Yeah okay I admit it, I'm not sure where they are gonna fit the ammo amongst all that wet mess. Nor do I care. Pass the boiled green leg. |
My choice of paint scheme for this model was easy. Lots of red, lots of checks, lots of weathering and lots of sexy sexness. This car will impress the gender best aligned with your affections. This car will impregnate your cat. This car will blast a hole through a wall then drive through that hole and keep going because it is immensely, immensely phallic and doesn't know the meaning of the word 'lube'.
 |
| All those checks were painted by hand. Yep. No ancient, crumbling, nightmarish decals used here in dozens of carefully arranged rows, no sirree. |
 |
| Hanging out with some old friends... |
So there it is, a big milestone for me and my hobby endeavors. It's been super thrilling watching these nutty looking vehicles begin to appear here and there over the last few weeks. You should all go and treat yourselves to one, go on. It's a nice easy build and super fun to paint too :D
And what's next? Well, badass vehicles are like whole spit-roasted cows, you can never just stop at one...
 |
| "Fritz! Iz zere a way to make zis tank more ork?" |
Adios for now!
Perfect from the first bit of Pcard, saliva and putty to the very last letter of that blogpost mec.
ReplyDeleteYou've built it from scratch, painted it like a pro and made my ribs explode with laughter here again.
The world's a much nicer place now, all thanks to you.
Thanks mec, it's been quite the journey but all worth it just to see you smile. Well read you smile. Well... you know what I mean xx
DeleteLike I said, an act of creation worthy of Gork or even Mork themselves. Fantastic work, you are indeed a hobby hero. The interior view of the cab made me ulol pretty hard, you funny man you.
ReplyDeleteThe interior of our actual car is more biscuit crumb than upholstery now, but a man can dream. Thanks for all the support you gave, and pushing me to my muddy limits. You're MY hero!
DeleteThe highest complement I can give you is that your boomwagon is of pro-build quality. The precision engineering is only enhanced by the sublime paint job. You should pat yourself on your back as many times as you can bear!
ReplyDeleteYou're a fellow who knows his tiny vehicles, so your compliments mean a lot. Thanks for all the inspiration you bring to our table, my paint work on this vehicle would have been a lot crapper without you!
DeleteRubbish.
ReplyDeleteLoad of bollocks.
Pile of embarrassingly amateur looking dogshit.
These are all phrases that do not apply to this blog post, paint job or divine act of creation.
Victorian iron bath filled with rancid horsepiss.
...is where your drowned body will be discovered if my copy of this model even looks sideways at any of my cats.
I'm fucking warning you...
Aren't your cats all boys? I guess we'll find out soon enough...
DeleteLove it! But knowing you have lots of copies, I expect to see a fleet of them painted up post haste.
ReplyDeleteMy immediate plans are for an upgraded Bad Moonz version (spoilers etc) and a downgraded Deathskull Loota version (patchy armour, lots of welding etc). Also one of the bodies will be the basis of another vehicle for Curtis to cast up... maybe ;)
DeleteOn a practical point this is what turns me on to fantasy/scifi stuff! I mean you clearly load it from the 3 exhaust tubes. Then you just kit bash a ammo wagon for it. Then you just got to be carfeul in game not to out run your ammo. :) See scenarious are already being made up! LOL Awesome work Cap'n...now I just need to get my hands on this.
ReplyDeleteI imagine a dump truck filled with giant shells rattling round in the bucket, grots cheerfully tossing the high explosives over the side in the general direction of the Boom Wagon... :D
DeleteDoesn't work physics just work on belief anyway? The Orks just believe really hard that it's loaded and it is. No need to actually load it.
DeleteI still believe! *saxophone solo*
DeleteI'm digging that dump truck idea though.
DeleteAmmo dumps are common on the field of battle. It's just taking it a small step further...
DeleteMassively impressive!!! ...and I mean massively....like yyyuuuugggeeeely impressive. Trust me...its impressive.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bluey, I trust you :D
DeleteThis whole endeavour has given me a properly sore horn, it's absolutely magnificent and my orks will be visiting the dealership tout suite
ReplyDeleteI genuinely can't wait to see your take on it Rochie, yours will likely upgrade to impregnating humans, or at least their close evolutionary cousins.
DeleteI was going to try and write something witty & comedic, but all the good stuff's already been said :D
ReplyDeleteI'll just go with a boring old "good job James!"
Oh, and it looks fuckin ace too! :)
Cheers mate, don't forget, when all other jokes are taken, that farts are always funny.
DeleteFrickin' awesome! So got to get me one of these.
ReplyDeleteLovely paint job!
Spoil yourself chap, you're just a few globs of 3-day epoxy away from having as much fun as I did trying to achieve the heat stain effect on those exhausts... *stares into the distance as the imaginary sounds of gunfire are heard and a solitary bugle plays a solemn dirge*
DeleteWAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSaid my Warboss while turning puce with envy. The embargo must be shattered before it is born! It will be mine!!
Every warboss worth his waaagh needs one of these. That is a scientific fact based on science.
DeleteI was so taken with the notion, I had to look up the collective noun for cats. I'm left with a vision in my head of a clowder (iPhone spell check doesn't like this collective noun) of sexy fantasy cat ladies with a satisfied look on their face whilst this thing ramps into the sunset through a hole blown through the wall in the background.
ReplyDeleteIt's a nice vision to end the day on...
It's the same dream every night, glarings of hot kitties licking themselves all over while giant cannons blast their payload overhead...
Delete
DeleteMy favourite collective noun for cats is a "staring".
Just in case anyone was wondering what I thought about the issue.
No discussion about cats would be complete without your pound of Whiskas
DeleteHaha, so great, man. The TARDIS with a cannon is ubercool and works for me. Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteThere has to be room for a bar fridge in there - heck, maybe even an actual bar!
DeleteI laughed so hard at the interior view I ruptured my spleen.
ReplyDeleteBetter rip 'er out before it goes septic
Delete2016 was an excellent, wild ride and so is this.
ReplyDeleteMy headcanon is that seemingly impractically bored 40k weapons like the Leman Russ battlecannon/demolisher are actually armour shrouds surrounding the actual barrel. They help with heat dissipation and prevent vulnerable components of main guns from being destroyed by powerful small arms weapons like bolter fire or big shootas.
Makes perfect sense that the Orks would protect their big gun with an ablative layer of armour.
The hole in the end of the barrel is only bored wide enough to take the equivalent of a Basilisk's Earthshaker type gun, which is still fairly hefty but easily stashed inside the cab. I actually did work out a rough design for the interio but that sketch is long gone I reckon. Basically all tank vehicles are a squashed, cramped mess inside and you'd be surprised what you can fit in with efficient design and no regard for leg room!
Delete