Wednesday, 16 November 2016

Hobby Corner: Mutant Raiders

"Fly Duchess! We simply must get to Miranda and tell her the news before she boards the steamer for the New World!"
Greetings vaqueros! This week, i'm going to tell you all about these desert raiders that I have made.

Sometimes you approach a modelling project with a clear vision, a solid goal and a palpable reason for finishing it, say, for a certain game, or event, or competition. Other times you just stick a more differenter head on a model and go 'Hey look ma! I made a donkey-squid!'

These models definitely fall into the latter category.

The new(ish) skitarii kits from Games Workshop are a goldmine of great parts for convertatin' things. While messing about in my bitz box I wondered what it would be like if I put an ad-mech ranger head on a dark elf Dark Rider. Then I wondered what it would be like if I put the toaster in the shower ("HOT SPRINKLER-BREAD!!"). Fortunately I only went through with one of those ideas. Then I painted it like a zebra.

"Quiet Duchess! I think my gun is talking to me again!"
The paint scheme didn't immediately occur to me. The idea they were desert raiders of some ilk was not foremost in my mind. Initially I just imagined this figure would be an ad-mech ranger on a horse. Simple right? A Mars Horse. From Mars. But those dudes would probably ride a robot horse made of sentient metal hoses, and aren't usually down with feathery (leafy?) capes. So the model went on the shelf and seemed doomed to wait in the queue forever...

10 YEARS LATER

Recently, I was looking through some production designs for Frank Herbert's Dune and the design of the 'stillsuits' - outfits designed to capture all the moisture, wee-wees and farts of it's wearer and turn it into sweet, sweet butt-water for you to drink from your wenis-pads (I may have only paid slight attention to the details). The one glaring thing about them, for me, was that they are all completely, totally, sexily, glossy black and bulbous, like shiny black beetle suits for the insect version of Furries to wear. 

Yep, you know they are going to have shiny beetle sex later on - I hear Patrick is mad for it.
If I were a raider in a desert on a horse-analogue, I would totally be dead from exposure in minutes  wear some sort of desert camo. Now i'm no expert on camo anything, despite the fact I wear camo pants exclusively in the hope my legs will disappear and I will look like a floating torso going about my day-to-day. So I looked up 'desert camo' on the Google and it showed me this scheme from Operation Desert Storm: 

"Don't stop running Duchess, or this giant cape will envelop us all!"
The camo has a lot of spots in it's detail, and so it worked nicely with the stripes of the 'horse' - visually appealing, even if two different types of camo on the same wearer is somewhat self-defeating. It makes the model stand out, is what i'm saying. I'd hate to lose it on the table because I camouflaged it too well.

The second rider I made was painted with the same theory in mind, only I used stripe-based camo on  a spotty horse. The spots were borrowed from a giraffe, because what the hell does an 18ft tall quadruped need with camouflage anyway??

"I wish he'd given me a holster for this thing, my aaaarms are getting tiiiired..."
There is something about nomadic alien desert folks with long rifles that is somewhat iconic. I know this because George Lucas did it and he knows everything forever, especially about making films.

He never hits anything with it, he's always too busy waving it around and making weird noises.
Galloping along at speed, making trick shots with his space rifle - that's what these guys are ALL about. Not survival at all costs, conservation of energy and resources. Nope. In the desert the guy who can stand in the saddle and hit a penny at 100 yards is king.

"I could hit the eye of a hawk flying, if I hadn't eaten the hawk. And my ammo. It's been a long trip..."
The actual raiders themselves are mysterious figures - I didn't go overboard giving them tentacles or anything, leaving the extent of their mutant cred to the imagination. One is showing a greenish coloured hand, but much like the Tusken Raiders that helped inspire them, their real features are a secret for the make-up department... for now.

The Dark Rider horses are just a great alien mount. They are like regular horses, but with spurs. When you ride these creatures, they spur you on. Well they would, if you fell off and they leg-ganked you. You'd have to be a pretty shitty owner for it to want to do that though. Shame on you, neglectful desert mutant.

It's a little known fact that the poisoned spurs of a mutie-horse contain a powerful aphrodisiac. You should go ahead and try it.
In gaming terms, I have no real actual 'plans' for these models, I just really like them, and so i'll be making more and more of them. Like 400 of them. It has been pointed out to me by people who like pointing (rude) that they would make great proxies for Gorkamorka muties, though why you would want to use anything but the official models is beyond me.

"Glaaargh! I costed £20 on an eBaaaaay!"


"Make sure they get our good sides, Maxwell."

"Right you are Jenkins old bean."
And what's next? Well, there's an old saying, "When in Rome, build giant ogres."

"Do those boots come in ogres?"
Adios for now!

32 comments:

  1. Wonderful, I've had tears of laughter in one eye and of awe in the other (or was it the other way round?)

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    1. We'll have to pluck them out and examine them closely. Hold still for a second...

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  2. Great post and even better models.

    Top notch wenis wrangling Captain!

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    1. Nobody wrangles a wenis better than me.

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  3. What can I say that hasn't been said before?

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    1. GABBA OGGA BOODA WOODA SHAMMALAMMAGAMMAWOW

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  4. This took a while for my brain to register it was two miniatures, and I kept thinking "why is the horse pattern shifting?!".

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    1. That's the power of mutie radiation at work. That dizziness will pass soon, but when it does you'll find they've stolen all your water. ALL your water.

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  5. Great post, I was the laughing. These lads are tremendous, the horses are a extravaganza of fabulous.

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    1. Thanks Mr, it's been a wild ride, much like the kind of ride you might expect to have on a mutant steed. Wild :D

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  6. I still can't get over how amazing these models look. Absolutely wonderful and by far the best of your models that I've seen (which being on the other side of the planet from you, are very few in number).

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    1. You'll see more. And more. You'll see so many you'll get sick of them. 'Stop Crooksie!' you'll say, 'no more!'. But I will never stop, never!

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  7. Best concept 2016!Great concept and post.Dune rules!

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    1. Did I just win an award? :D Yusssss! ;) Thanks for reading!

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  8. I'm loving this project, then your hitting us with converted ogres! ERMGAWD I'm gonna puke from excitement! Those steeds are lovely and you did awesome work on the paint jobs. I might have to get some, as you know I am a fan of plastic steeds. ;) Then the Desert Storm Camo...I almost Schwarzkopfed in meh dungarees.

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    1. Thanks Thomas, it was fun to copy the real-world camo styles, and repurposing animal hides has been a great challenge too. I wonder which skin I will borrow next... perhaps man, the most dangerous animal of all...

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  9. I really like the dark transition of the skin on the zebra mount Crooksey! Marvelous work old boy....simply marvelous :)

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    1. Did I do a dark transition, or did I just forget to paint the legs? I will take the answer to my grave I will!

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  10. Holy shit these are nicely done! The zebra pattern works best as does your camo gag about losing your model on the table (amongst some other good ones). Great stuff all round.

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    1. I have a feeling I won't be able to do better than the zebra pattern, it's struck a chord with everyone it seems. But I will soldier on regardless, a pathetic figure clutching at the tatters of my faded glory, halfheartedly making fart jokes till I fade into irrelevance forever. Such is the way of things. Probably.

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  11. You're quite good at this blogging lark aren't you? Maybe you should do it some more?

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    1. Okay here we go hnnnnnnnggghrhhg- oh wait you said 'blogging'? Ha ha yes of course I knew that. Ha. Ha ha. Nevermind.

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  12. Great conversions, and even better paint jobs! Of the two, I find the zebra more convincing as a "real" animal, but that is hardly a criteria for this sort of thing is it? Right o, pink squidy paint job for the next one, and follow that up with parrot.

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    1. Parrot is one I have legit considered. Maybe a low-vis parrot. Like, one that lives on an aircraft carrier.

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  13. I am enjoying the compliments in your comments. Your wenis must be feeling quite raw from all the attention.

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  14. Well damnit. Here I was perfectly content and settled on doing Diggas for GorkaMorka next year (or maybe some feral Orks, or snortas, or Gorkas but never Morkas) and you go and throw these up for me to consider stealing the entire concept of!

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    1. If you do muties too then we can have a mutie-off. It'll get real nasty, real quick. The desert ain't big enough for the two of us (actually it's quite expansive).

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  15. F&%k, man! That's brilliant!! I love how you made them look! Zebra-giraffe-horse party!

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    1. Thanks :D the next one I might paint to look like a regular horse - mind-blowing! D:

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  16. Brilliant, I love these models. Great work!

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    1. Thanks, they have been a fun side project from all the fun side projects I have :D

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