Greetings vaqueros. Today I'm going to be talking to you about a serious matter - the Skeleton Agenda.
It's time we addressed the undead elephant in the room. Skeleton numbers are on the rise and our governments are doing nothing about it.
Skeletons don't share our values. They are lazy - lying around all day doing nothing, in housing provided by the government or by the goodwill of religious groups. Skeleton neighbourhoods are downright creepy, I would not want to be walking around there at nighttime. They take jobs that honest, living people could do, such as guarding liche tombs and standing in medical school classrooms, and they do it for much less money too. Possibly no money at all.
|Citadel push-fit skeletons with arms from the previous multipart kit|
They say that inside all of us, there's a skeleton waiting to come out, but that's just nonsense spouted by the no-longer-bleeding heart skeleton lobby, always trying to push their bony agenda, forcing us to observe their creepy pagan skeleton celebrations like Halloween - it gets to the point where you can't even go down the shops without being bombarded with skeleton related junk. All this talk of skeletons using our bathrooms is rubbish as well - I don't want some skeleton sharing a bathroom with me - skeletons don't even pee!
|Dark World skeletons with Citadel shields|
When the necromancers send skeletons to our lands, they're not sending their best. They're not sending you (unless you are dead of course). They are sending skeletons that have lots of rusty weapons and they are bringing those rusty weapons with them. They are bringing rust. They are bringing grime. They're rap- okay maybe not that. And some, I assume, are the skeletons of good people. I love skeletons, but they are not our friend, believe me.
|Legend of Zagor skeletons with Citadel shields|
I know what you're thinking. "That old Crooky Bear," you're saying, "He's just a big ol' skeletonist."
Well answer me this, honestly - would you want your son or daughter to marry a skeleton?
|"Till DEATH do ussss part!"|
I rest my case.
And what's next? Well the only way to top a cheap plastic skeleton is to paint an even bigger, cheap, plastic skeleton... thing.
|"I have a name you know! It's... uhh, darn, worms ate that part of my brain... the remember bit... uhhh..."|
Adios for now!